Little Paddock Caramel Slice – a Delicious Ecological Disaster

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You’re in the milk chocolate ice cream seas off the coast of candy land. The deep sea caramel rig has exploded. There are bits of white dough brick strewn all over the chocolate waters; little remnants of the once industrial caramel drill site. Caramel is now flowing freely and uncontrollably. You’re not quite sure where it begins and ends. You know when oil gets into water and there’s a light coating everywhere? Caramel has done the same thing to these chocolate waters. Caramel, caramel everywhere, with chocolate and dough to eat. This is no Beverley Hillbillies caramel strike, rather a full diffusion.

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There’s only one way to salvage this situation, and that’s to eat it all. Actually, in the end, the only disaster is that you’ll normally have to share this tub with others. If only all clean up efforts could be sorted with a spoon like this.

Serve with the gratitude of the Pineapple Lump Pelicans and Snickers Seals you saved from all the horror.

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30 thoughts on “Little Paddock Caramel Slice – a Delicious Ecological Disaster

  1. The deep sea caramel rig has exploded.

    I hope I’m on the Coastal Guard’s speed dial for Clean Up Crew.

    Holy. Is that dough? Like, for real, dough? Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum. I need this in my life. Is it terrible that I want to eat this between two peanut butter cookies?

      1. Speaking of, have you heard anything about the state fair of texas? Deep-fried butter, deep-fried cheesecake, and the most mindblowing one, deep-fried coca cola. Hwat.

        LOL. Fullscreened it. Pretty trippy.

        OOOMPH.

      2. For some reason the Texas fair and deep fried cola made me think of Ruth Ozeki’s My Year of Meat. Love that book, must read it again someday. Yeah, I have heard of the fair, but not the Cola. I think Mars bars are about as hardcore as we get with it in NZ.

        I only watch the UK version of MasterChef. One of the winners was even NZ born one season. It’s great to watch the contestants on that show develop even if I find it relatively easy to pick the eliminations (once I picked who would win the whole thing based only on the lady’s intro voiceover in the last episode of the season). .

      3. NOBODY TOLD ME U REPLIED. I think the WordPress botnet trojan is at it again.

        That book sounds interesting. Who’s Ruth? I know I can just google it but this way is better. Think Dori in Finding Nemo; “Oh, boy. This is gonna be good, I can tell.”

        What about the year I ate cheese. Cheese and ice cream, only!

        Mars bars? Not even snickers? The good stuff? No peanuts? Whaaaaaat. You kid.

        MasterChef is the Brit version of Top Chef? I haven’t watched a lot of food related TV in a while. Cause, you know, Japan. And. Can’t pirate it anywhere. Um, wait, what?

        #iliveinthecountryside…. #pleadthefifth

      4. Just an author. She writes about a small time film maker in America who is half Japanese. She gets roped into doing these advermercials for American beef interests in Japan. Tagline: Pork is better, beef is best. She’s supposed to showcase these all American families, but the pristine white looking ones are boring on the surface, and the interesting mixed ones don’t meet with the approval of her Japanese minder, who is a real pain and a terror to his wife (who lives the other side of the story in Japan, watching the beef shows, recreating the dishes and giving the shows marks out of ten, when she’s not supposed to be producing an heir for her husband). Lots of cross cultural things, lots about the use of hormones and proteins in American agriculture. I dunno, just a good read.

    1. I used to write a lot of poetry when I was in high school. I’d probably write one post a week in poetry if I had more time on my hands. I suppose those instincts were bound to work their way out into this blog somehow.

      1. No wonder you make food poetry daily! Maybe you could try doing it, but not forcing yourself to once a week, just once in a while? 🙂

  2. I love this post! The ice – cream looks so delicious as well 🙂 As a NZ person watching Masterchef UK, why do you prefer it if you don’t mind me asking? I watch the UK version (because let’s face it, it’s there, and based on food, so I’m in!) but much prefer the Australian version which I am obsessed with ( Sorry, they don’t show NZ version, but from what I’ve heard it’s similar?)

    1. The elimination challenges annoy me, as do some of the team aspects of the Australian and NZ ones. I hate feeling like some people are kicked out because the elimination challenge was pastry and that played into the strength of some contestants over others. With the UK one I feel like each chef gets to develop their own style and trade on that a lot more. Each chef in the finals gets eliminated delivering their style of cuisine, rather than a dish that’s been forced on them.

      Plus watching the finalists work in 3 Michelin Star restaurants and serve up dishes to guys like Michel Roux Jr gives a voyeuristic pleasure I don’t get out of watching the versions that are closer to home.

      Just personal preference. 🙂

      1. That’s fair enough, I agree about some of the pastry-based elimination challenges and I suppose the UK one is fairer in that sense. I suppose we find ours a bit repetitive, where as there is more variety in the Australian variation regarding the challenges – whilst our is improving, it used to be invention, own food and restaurant kitchen EVERY WEEK! (Having said that, I am enjoying the series now on a lot more 🙂

      2. The format of the UK one is certainly at best tried and true, and at worst staid (oh no, does that mean I’m already become inflexible and stuck in my ways?!). I suppose on the other side of the coin, familiarity can breed contempt. The UK one doesn’t roll around and take over a TV station the way the Antipodes versions do, I usually have to find it at odd hours on the Food Channel. When our ones are the coverage feels oppressive.

  3. I love how you can describe ice-cream in a way nobody would think of and give them their own character 😀 and oh yes ice-cream is not for sharing mwaha whoever has most in the tummy wins!

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